MCAT Blues

This past May, I promised this to myself: I would review all the sciences, practice verbal reasoning passages, and take the MCAT in September. 2011 was going to be the year in which I would follow my dream.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans - Woody Allen

It all started well. My review began in mid-June. I found inspiration in a couple of my favorite bloggers who were in the same boat and found time to write about their experiences. July came and went. So did August. To my astonishment, my progress was excruciatingly slow. Spending the dog days of Summer studying for the MCAT would have been delightful if it had not been very time-consuming, especially to a non-traditional pre-med. I have been out of school in a very long time and I have forgotten how to study and manage time. I was mostly surprised to find out that I was only able to complete half of the questions in the allocated time. That would not have been surprising if it had just been for the verbal reasoning section. But that was the case for the physical and biological sections as well. After a long analysis, I could not convince myself that I was fully prepared and I did what I dreaded to do the most. I postponed.

Indeed it is better to postpone, lest either we complete too little by hurrying, or wander too long in completing it - Tertullian

I am already looking forward to 2012 hoping it will be a fruitful year!


Picture: Medical College Admission Test (MCAT)

I will survive!

How I love this music!

I went. I lived. When will I become?

I watched 'Va, vis et deviens' (Go, live and become) a few weeks ago. I cannot believe I waited this long to see it. My siblings had recommended it to me a couple of years ago.

‘Va, vis et deviens’ is a French film about an Ethiopian boy who is airlifted from a Sudanese refugee camp to Israel during Operation Moses (1984). Shlomo, the boy, has two big secrets: he is neither a Jew nor an orphan. He is just a son trying to fulfill his mother's request to "go, live and become". The title refers to a common phrase of aspiration uttered by Ethiopian parents to their children.

The story is as much about the unconditional love of the women (his birth mother, his Falasha mother, his French Jew mother, and his wife) who guide him in his journey to “become” as it is about the Shlomo in all of us. I loved the young Shlomo, the multiple languages spoken (Amharic, Hebrew and French), the music, the depiction of Médecins Sans Frontières, and, most of all, the message. Apart from a couple of scenes that I would have deleted, I found the movie extremely moving. At the end, I found myself asking, “I went. I lived. When will I become?”

Believe in yourself

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." Jim Valvano

Photo: Father and daughter by Miss Moll

Remember

Sometimes, life sucks...

... and you don't know what to do ...

... and you try to remind yourself it could have been worse ...

...and then you start to sing "Earthquakes may break my bones but they do not break my will to live! I am Toussaint L'Ouverture! I am Haiti! Tomorrow will be here!"

Photos 1 and 2: Special coverage on CNN

Photos 3 and 4: The New York Times

Healthcare Around the World

I watched a rerun of an interesting Frontline report by T.R Reid entitled ‘Sick Around the World’ in which he compared the health care systems of five capitalist democracies, i.e United Kingdom (U.K), Japan, Germany, Taiwan, and Switzerland. According to an excerpt from his upcoming book on international health care ‘We’re Number 37!’, there are four basic health care systems: the Beveridge model, the Bismarck model, the National Health Insurance [NHI] model, and the Out-of-Pocket model. He chose the U.K as an example of the Beveridge model, Taiwan as an example of the Canadian-style NHI model, Germany, Japan and Switzerland as examples of the Bismarck model. He focused on three Bismarck countries on the theory that the U.S would learn more from these private-sector systems than the British-style National Health Service. Each example offered a system that delivered health care for everyone - but with remarkable differences and concerns.

Here is the full report:



The title of T.R Reid's newest book 'We're Number 37!', which is scheduled to be published by Penguin Press in May 2009, refers to the U.S's ranking in the World Health Organization 2000 World Health Report. Although some have criticized the WHO 2000 report, most agree with the 2007 report by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) that the U.S spends more of its percentage of gross domestic production on health care than other nations including the U.K, Germany, Japan, and Switzerland. Defenders of America's health sector claim that it delivers superior health outcomes, such as longer cancer survival rates. Detractors claim that other nations' systems deliver equal or better health outcomes such as longer life expectancy and better infant mortality rates. The Frontline report shows that nearly every system faces problems of rising cost and lack of access to care. Still, as the U.S looks to reform its health care system, there are lessons that it can learn from these countries. I found the following excerpt particularly interesting:

“These four models should be fairly easy for Americans to understand because we have elements of all of them in our fragmented national health care apparatus.

When it comes to treating veterans, we're Britain or Cuba [the Beveridge model].

For Americans over the age of 65 on Medicare, we're Canada [the NHI model].

For working Americans who get insurance on the job, we're Germany [the Bismarck model].

For the 15 percent of the population who have no health insurance, the United States is Cambodia or Burkina Faso or rural India [the Out-of-Pocket model], with access to a doctor available if you can pay the bill out-of-pocket at the time of treatment or if you're sick enough to be admitted to the emergency ward at the public hospital.

The United States is unlike every other country because it maintains so many separate systems for separate classes of people...”

"Dream Deferred"

As I look at the amount of work I need to do before I can apply to medical school, I wonder if I will ever apply, get in and then find what I am seeking. I have been trying to analyze my motivations to go back to school. Frankly, I do not understand them.

When I was fresh out of high school, I seemed to be really focused. I knew where I was heading with certainty. Now, everything seems gray. When I feel this way, I like to read "Harlem" (sometimes called "Dream Deferred") from Langston Hughes' Montage of a Dream Deferred (1951), from which a line was taken for the title of the play A Raisin in the Sun.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
and then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

One Ruble

Here is a joke that describes somewhat the reason for some of my trepidation for going back to school:

A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender.
"One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!"
"Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopeks for the perestroika."
Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopeks and says, "We are out of beer."

Ruble = Time (fifty kopeks) and money (fifty kopeks)
Perestroika = Healthcare system reforms
Beer = Satisfaction

When is Time to let go of a dream?

I am thirty-something. I am a single female. I have an advanced degree. The next obvious step would be to settle. That means find a husband and a well-paying job. No! Not if Fate has anything to do with it. There is a very stubborn inner voice that will not convince me to let go of a life-long dream of going to Medical School. That inner voice is remarkably loud and, at times, keeps me awake. Not long ago, I found a helpful website. Click here.